Raise an Independent Toddler . As with so many aspects of discipline, it’s a question of balance; giving the child enough slack to become an independent toddler, yet keeping the connection. A mother does not let her child go off entirely on their own, but she also doesn’t allow them to hang onto her skirt. Throughout the second year, parents may feel they are walking a fine line between being over restrictive and being negligent. One way carries the risk of hindering a baby’s development, and the other allows the baby to hurt themselves or others or damage property. Here are some ways of helping raise an independent toddler. Play “out of sight” games. Beginning around nine months or sometimes earlier, try playing peek- a- boo and chase each other around the furniture. As you hide your face with your hands or you hide your body on the other side of the couch, your baby has the opportunity to imagine that you exist even though you’re out of sight. Helping a toddler by separating gradually. Best odds for a baby developing a healthy sense of self is for the baby to separate from the mother and not the mother from the baby. Discipline problems are less likely to occur when babies separate from their mothers gradually. While the baby characteristics inside the toddler remains connected, the toddler characteristics make the child feel more secure to go off on their own. The connected child takes a bit of their mother with them for comfort and advice during their explorations. Jan 05, 2010: Homeopathic colic tabs. I dont know why but I will say that our 11 month old suddenly started screaming like all out fierce which was. Now your baby is officially a toddler . Until his second birthday, your child should get about 14. 15 month old, first week How your toddler's growing Your baby's growing up fast these days: walking, talking a little, probably even using a spoon or fork when she eats. The food chart for 1 year old baby I am going to share with you is not much different from that of a 11 month old baby posted here. As a mom, I was relieved when. It’s like having the best of both worlds — oneness, yet separateness. We learned to appreciate this similar feeling during our family sailing adventures. Because our sailboat was fitted with an electronic homing device that kept us “connected” to a radio control tower on land, we felt secure venturing farther out into the ocean.; Connection provides security. The problem with many of the modern theories about discipline is that they focus so much on fostering independence that they lose sight of the necessity for a toddler to continue a healthy dependence. Try to achieve the delicate balance between maintaining the connection and encouraging self- reliance. Conceive Girl Diet Early Signs Of Pregnancy For First Time Sex Getting Pregnant Vintage Online Pregnancy Test Quiz Metabolism Miracle Diet Book In this case, you need.Keeping a toddler posted on your absence. Our 1. 8- month- old grandson Andrew has very polite parents. Bob and Cheryl are careful to let him know when one of them plans to “disappear” into the next room. Because Andrew is separation- sensitive, he taught them to do this from a very early age. Especially important is saying “Good- bye!,” “See- ya,” and “Daddy’s going to work.” Encouraging the behavior allows Andrew to handle even his mother leaving because there have never been any rude surprises. Letting your toddler know when you are planning on leaving helps them know what the score is at any given moment. They can trust their parents to keep them in the loop. Be a facilitator. A baby will naturally become an independent toddler, so it is not your job to make them independent, but rather to provide a secure environment that allows them to become an independent toddler. As your child is struggling for a comfortable independence, you become a facilitator. You are like a battery charger when the little dynamo needs emotional refueling. One moment he is shadowing you, the next moment he is darting away. How much separation can your child tolerate and how much do they need? The child needs to maintain the connection while increasing the distance. Toddlers who behave best are those that find the balance of attaching and exploring as they go from security to novelty. Your job as the facilitator is to help the child achieve that balance. That’s the partnership you and your toddler negotiate. Substituting voice contact. If your young toddler is playing in another room out of your sight and starts to fuss, instead of immediately dropping what you are doing and rushing to their aid, try calling to them instead, “Mama’s coming!” Maintaining a dialogue with a toddler outside the shower door has prevented many a separation protest. Shifting gears if separation isn’t working. Sometimes even a baby who was easy to leave suddenly becomes a toddler who is separation- sensitive. If your toddler isn’t taking well to your absences, you might try more creative ways of staying happy yourself that don’t involve leaving your child. What you may perceive as a need to escape may actually be a need for you to give yourself more nurturing. Providing “long- distance” help for an independent toddler. Exploring toddlers get stuck in precarious places. The protector instinct in all parents makes us want to rush and rescue the stuck child. Sometimes it’s good to encourage from the sidelines and let the young adventurer get themselves out of the mess. While writing this section, I observed 2- year- old Lauren trying to negotiate her doll buggy down a short flight of steps. Halfway down, the buggy got stuck and Lauren began to protest. Instead of immediately rushing to help her, I offered an encouraging, “Lauren, do it.” That was all she needed to navigate her buggy down the rest of the steps. Encouraging toddlers to work themselves out of their own dilemmas helps them develop a sense of self- reliance. Watch for signs of separation stress. There are times when toddlers still need to cling, some more than others. On days when your usually fearless explorer won’t leave your side, honor his wishes but try to figure out why he is staying so close. Have you been distracted or too busy to attend to him? Has he had more separation than he can handle lately? Refuel his connectedness “tank” with some time together, and he’ll be off on his own again soon. Helping a toddler by letting him have “just being” time. Take time to let your independent toddler just be with you, on your lap cuddling and talking at various times throughout the day. First thing in the morning is a favorite time for our Lauren to want this, especially if she’s slept in her own bed that night, or if Martha or I got up before her and we missed that snuggle time in bed. If I let her “be” until she called a halt, she charged herself for a nice long stretch of independent toddler time. It’s not always easy for me to sit still long enough to let this happen, yet I’m always glad when I do. Encourage relationships with other significant adults. Grandparents, family friends, any substitute caregiver you use regularly can help your older independent toddler learn to depend on adults other than their parents. Invite significant others into your child’s life so that as they separate from you, they learn to depend on a variety of people for help. Remember, children’s behaviors are more challenging to deal with when they are making the transition from one developmental stage to the next. By easing the transition, you lessen the discipline problems that tag along. Becoming interdependent. Many child- rearing theories teach that a prime parenting goal is to get the child to be independent. This is true, but gaining independence is only part of becoming an emotionally healthy person. A child must pass through three stages on becoming a healthy person: Dependence Toddler: “You do it for me.” The infant under 1 year old is totally dependent on parents. Independence Toddler: “I do it myself.” During the second year, the independent toddler with the encouragement of parents, learns to do many things independent of parents. Interdependence Toddler: “We do it.” This is the most mature stage. The child has the drive to accomplish a feat by themselves but has the wisdom to ask for help to do it better. For a child to have the best chance of becoming an emotionally healthy person, they should be encouraged to mature through each of these stages gradually. Getting stuck in the dependent stage is as crippling as is being forced out of it too soon. Remaining in the independent stage is frustrating. Maturing into interdependence equips children with the ability to get the most out of others, while asking the most of themselves. Interdependence means the parent and child need each other to bring out the best in each other. Without your child challenging you as they go through each stage, you wouldn’t develop the skills necessary to parent them. Here’s where the connected pair shines. They help each other be the best for each other. Learning interdependence prepares a child for life, especially for relationships and work. In fact, management consultants teach the concept of interdependence to increase productivity. The ability to know when to seek help and how to get it is a valuable social skill that even a 2 year old can learn: “I can do it myself, but I can do it better with help.”Throughout all stages of development, a child goes from being solitary to being social, from wanting to be independent to wanting to be included. In fact, going back and forth from oneness to separateness is a lifelong social pattern among interdependent people. You want your child to be comfortable being alone and with other people, and which state predominates depends on the child’s temperament. Interdependence balances children who are predominantly either leaders or followers. An independent individualist may be so tied up in themselves that they miss what the crowd has to offer. On the other hand, the dependent child is so busy following the crowd that they never gets a chance to develop leadership. Learning to be interdependent ties in with the child learning to be responsible. When children get used to seeking help from other people, they naturally learn to consider the effects of their behavior on others. Truly happy and healthy people are neither dependent nor independent; they are interdependent. Helping an independent toddler play alone. Part of self- discipline is the ability to enjoy playing alone. Before 1. 8 months old, a baby will do this only in short spurts and will be eagerly checking in with their mother frequently; either physically come to her or find her with their eyes. Attachment- parented babies may prefer to be in touch with their mother almost constantly, and this is healthy. Your 1. 4- month- old's development - Baby. Centre. What will my toddler be able to do this month? Your toddler may be able to drink from a cup, although some toddlers stay very attached to their bottles. However he gets around, whether it's crawling or toddling, he will want to be on the go a lot of the time. In return, he'll use gestures and pointing to let you know what he wants. This can lead to frustration for him, because in toddler world, what you want is what you get! Let him toddle barefoot as much as possible. Going barefoot helps him to improve his balance and coordination. But as your toddler learns to walk, his feet need to be kept as free as possible. Your toddler's feet can't straighten out and grow properly if they are cramped by shoes or tight socks. Keep the floor clear and hard edges on furniture covered, as he may be doing more than just toddling. He can probably stoop down and then stand back up again, and may even be working on walking backwards (Sheridan 2. If you lock low cupboards and keep fragile items out of reach, he'll be safer and you can relax a little. Stay with your toddler, though, in case he falls or needs your help. Some toddlers don't walk until they are 1. NHS nd). As long as your toddler's legs are growing stronger, and he can bear weight on them, he's doing fine. You may notice that one of his favourite words is ! Although he's a long way off expressing in words everything he wants to communicate, this won't deter him from making strongly felt demands. He knows what he wants and he will gesture or point to show you (ICAN 2. Fill it with items you don't mind him touching. This could include plastic containers and kitchen utensils, toys, or empty boxes. Change the contents every now and again to keep your toddler's interest. He'll still want to snuggle with his comfort object, whether it's his favourite stuffed toy or much- loved blanket, when he's had enough. But he can help you while you're dressing him. Your toddler may now be able to sit still, or sometimes stand, without support while you put on his clothes (Sheridan 2. He may also be able to hold out his arm for a sleeve or his foot for a shoe (Thomson Delmar learning 2. Sheridan 2. 00. 8: 2. Also, your toddler likes to be on the move, so it's unrealistic to expect him to still with a big meal in front of him. Bear in mind it's normal for your toddler to eat more or less than usual on some days. Try to eat with him as often as you can. You're his role model (Infant and Toddler Forum 2. Encourage him by making positive comments about foods at mealtimes such as, . If he doesn't eat much, or even anything, at one meal, there are other ways you can keep him fuelled. Give him full- fat dairy products such as whole milk, yoghurt and cheese (DH 2. These give him energy and vitamins for growth. Your toddler will like having a mini sandwich in one hand while he goes about the more important business (to him) of playing. The government recommends that all children between six months and five years have these extra vitamins. Your toddler will not need follow- on formula milk if he has a balanced diet and a vitamin supplement. However reluctant your toddler is to swap his bottle for a cup, it's worth persevering. The bacteria in your toddler's mouth can change the sugars in the drink into acids that can weaken tooth enamel. This is because the teat affects your toddler's ability to use his tongue, making it harder for him to talk. Introducing your baby to solid food. Stages of speech and language development: a guide for early years practitioners. My child: 6- 1. 2 months. Healthy eating for toddlers. Toddler factsheet 1. For healthcare professional use. Leg and foot problems in children . NHS Choices, Birth to five. From birth to five years: children's developmental progress. London: Routledge. Thomson Delmar Learning. Denver Development Screening Test. But that is more of a good thing for you and a bad thing for me : / Children will eat what they want to eat, so don't try to restrict their intake. Time Magazine actually just did a short article on this exact issue.. When I read that, I thought that was pretty absurd. But yes, I also agree with the other posters.. It sounds like she likes a variety of food, so this shouldn't be much of an issue in terms of getting her to eat new healthier items. For instance, instead of a regular waffle, try giving her whole grain or flax seed waffles.. Maybe only give her half a grilled cheese, but add some spinach (I know, sounds weird, but my son really liked that for a while) or tomatoes to it and follow it up with a variety of fruit and healthy snacks. I think alot of the time, us parents can end up projecting some of our own insecurities onto our kids, and lets face it, weight is almost everyone's insecurity. The best thing you can do to avoid that is be aware of it and do your best to not let it negatively influence her life and growth. Btw, here is the link to the Time article.. I think that gets my point across a little more clearly: http: //healthland.
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